Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Wedding Woe's

Well y'all. 

I think I had my first wedding break down last night. 

Now that our save the dates are out I've been hearing "yes's and no's and maybe's and we'll see's."

It's hitting me that people that I really want at our wedding might not be there. 

I guess I was kind of in denial at first and just thought people would find a way to come to Mexico. Now I'm realizing that's not necessarily the case. 

It's really getting to me especially because some of the "maybes" were getting are my family who I have always pictured being there on my wedding day. 

I also got the much anticipated email from the Travel Agent last night with the group rates and they're a lot higher than what we had originally thought. We did a lot of research on resorts and time of year to go before we decided on a resort so this is unexpected. We've also been watching expedia and travelocity and the group prices she gave us are a lot higher than those sites. 

I'm frustrated. 

I'm worried. 

If these prices are so high, all those "we'll see's" and "maybe's" are going to turn to "no's." 

As much as I wanted a small wedding, only having 15-20 people there isn't really what I wanted. 

I was thinking like 40-50.

I just need to say a big fat


right now.

Honestly, I just needed to vent and get y'alls help to remind me what it's all about. 

I know at the end of the day it's about me and John. It's about us getting married and us starting the rest our lives together.

A destination wedding is US and what WE wanted and I know we shouldn't let anyone take that away from us.

I know at the end of that night in December I will be happier than ever and who was there won't matter.

I just have to remember during the planning process what it's actually all about...

How did y'all handle your wedding woe's??


Sarah said...

We were having a hard time picking a date around when I had breaks from school, and December 22 was the only one that worked. Well, we started getting lots of "well that's so close to Christmas..." or "so-and-so might not be able to come then." But my daddy looked at me and said, "Sarah, the only two people that HAVE to be there are you and Brice. Everybody else is just fluff, including me."

Just remember that your main goal is to make you and John happy. I'm a big people pleaser, so I'm always thinking, "Well are other people gonna like this?" But I have to stop and make myself do what me and B want no matter what.

I hope everything works out for y'all and everybody gets to come! Keep your head up, everything will work out!

Caitlin said...

I missed out on a lot of people at my wedding, and I was pretty sad at the time. But you have two ways to look at it: first, think, "Well, that 'no' just saved me $60!" (or however much your cost per head is.) But most importantly, when you are walking down the aisle, the only face you're going to see in that crowd is John's. Guaranteed. As long as the two most important people are there, it will be happiest day of your life. :)

Lauren said...

I have planned on (for as long as I can remember) someday having a very small wedding. Like you, I fear that those people I want to be there, won't be able to make it or choose not to attend -- and I remind myself that everyone who comes to my wedding is a true friend and anyone who doesn't come by choice, doesn't really deserve all my worry and care. Just trust that all the right people will be in attendance. Guest count is just a number, babe. Quality over quantity! XOXO

Maura said...

it will all work out!! at the end of this you're going to be married to your best friend and that is what you need to focus on!! hang in there girl!

Christina said...

We kind of had the reverse problem. My dad is from the south and none of that side of my family was going to make it to Seattle for my wedding. When we changed it to Vegas, a lot of them came. Partly because it was cheaper, but mostly because it was Vegas. That kinda stung. We had a reception at home two weeks later to celebrate with those from home who couldn’t come to the wedding. Maybe you could do that? It was fun to wear my dress twice! I feel like I got my money’s worth.

Heather said...

I just had to keep reminding myself what really mattered- the marriage, not so much the wedding. It'll all work out girl. :)

Jess... said...

I like Christine's idea about having a reception when you get back as well.

My cousin got married in Bermuda and, unfortunately, most of us just didn't have the money to go (even though we all desperately wanted to). She had a big party/reception when she got back and it was a blast!

Katie said...

Oh girl, I feel your pain. Since Donny's family is all in Texas and our wedding is here in NC, a LOT of his family won't be able to come. It makes me so sad.

But you're right-- what matters is you and John. The wedding is for you two. Of course you want people there, but when you walk down the aisle, you're not going to see anyone but him.

Plus, you can always have a party at home when you get back! :)

Kindra said...

oh girl i totally understand! we wanted to do something outside the us but after researching with 3 travel agents it just wasn't goign to be feasible for our guests. We kept thinking of ways to get it cheaper and it just didn't work! just take a deep breath and remember it isn't about anyone else but you and John :)

Michelle said...

I'm with Heather and Katie. As much as it is upsetting, it is sometimes hard for people to travel. You have to remember you and John and your marriage is most important! And you can always having a celebration when you return! :)

Ashlee Miller said...

Chin up girly! You have to keep telling yourself it is about you and John and nobody else. It will all work out! ((HUGS))

Jenn @ West Sac Honey said...

For the pricing - guaranteed expedia etc doesn't have your airport transfers, insurance and everything else included so that's why your travel agent is more expensive but it's bundled in.

Then as for the RSVP's I don't know what to say I haven't done anything yet so I think I'll be in the same boat soon..

Holly said...

I know everyone else comments that you and John are the only ones that need to be there, but I just don't agree.

Just my two sense - a wedding is to share your life with the ones you love and the honeymoon is for the bride and the groom. I know everyone is different, and I hope that the most important people in your life are there on your special day.

I have missed as many friends and family weddings as I have attended. I wish I could have made it to all of them, but it just isn't possible to make it to 2-3 destination weddings a year. My family is huge!

Celia said...

I'm sorry you're going through this lady. =/ We had destination wedding in mind for a brief moment but there would be people who I knew wouldn't be able to attend and for me, I couldn't get married without having certain people in attendance.

Do what ultimately makes you happy friend. Sit back, breathe and ask yourself what is truly important and if there is anything you might regret. =)

In the end, whatever you choose, I know you will be beautiful bride and your day will be amazing!

Katie said...

I was shocked at some of the people that didn't end up coming to our wedding, and it was local. Of the over 100 people we invited - all of whom were family - less than 70 showed up.
I believe that travel prices, especially airfare have spiked recently because of the prices in oil, and if you're getting married in December, that's probably a really popular time for travel to tropical areas - which would explain the price hike. What if you call the hotel directly and see if rates are lower?
From everything I've heard about destination weddings, 40-50 people is very large; most are 25 or less in my experience.
I know its hard to know that everyone you wanted to attend your wedding, won't but that would happen whether it's destination or local, and like you say - in the end, the most important thing is that you're married! Good luck!

Meg O. said...

I'm so sorry you're feeling frustrated right now. That's the part of wedding planning I do not miss. *HUGS*

It's tough because there will always be "no"s and "maybe"s. I'm trying to think of a bright way to spin this... at least you'll have a for sure head count!! I had a problem of people responding YES and then not showing up so I had to pay for them!

Cori H. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cori H. said...

I'm so sorry that you're getting frustrated! I know I would be too. You're right though, you gotta remember that it's all about you and your man starting the rest of your lives together. When it's all said and done, I know that your wedding will be beautiful, and I'm sure the people who mean a lot to you will be there!

Megan said...

I hope everything ends up working out for you. Maybe you could just have a party when you get back so that you can still celebrate with the people you want there? My brother and his fiance are planning on going to Mexico just the two of them, getting married, and having a party when they get back. It's not ideal for my family or hers, but it's what they want/can afford.
At least you have found the one you love and are getting to spend the rest of your life with someone :-)

Jenny said...

that is tough, I'm sorry you are going through that! at the end of the day it is you and John becoming husband and wife that matters and nobody else but my sister went through the same thing and only had about 30 people at her wedding and missed some of the people she really wanted, so they ended up having a party when they got back too. Do whatever works best for you but I would also suggest to not settle (I let a few things go, that I wish I hadn't of), you get this ONE time in your life and it is so special and goes by SOOO fast, make sure it is ALL that you want it to be!

Mrs. Bear said...

I am sorry to hear about your woes! I had lots of woes...and nightmares too! We had a destination wedding and sadly there were A LOT of people who couldn't come. None of my grandparents could make it and to this day it breaks my heart that they couldn't be there with us. However, having a destination wedding was something we both really wanted to do, and our grandparents understood that it was our dream, and in the end they were able to celebrate with us when we came home, so it all worked out. You have to keep your eye on the prize (your future hubby) through all the tough times and just remember that the most important part of all this business is that you're marrying the love of your life.... and that you can't make everyone happy haha.

Working Mom said...

My brother is getting married in Mexico in June and they are having the same issue with prices. Also we just found out that apparently there are only 6 rooms left at the resort so not everyone may get a room! I don't want to discourage you by writing that. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone with the frustrations of a destination wedding! It will get better! Have a great week!

Amanda @ Click. The Good News said...

Girl- I'm sorry to hear that! We skipped the travel agent altogether b/c it was too hard to coordinate everybody's plans. We ended up booking most people through discontallinclusive.com or allinclusiveoutlet.com since they had the best prices. There were real TA's & they were great about helping. Just remember, whoever ends up being there, it will be perfect & those that really care will make every possible effort to be there. Take a break for a few days, re-group and keep planning when you are in a happy place again :)

Emily said...

I broke down crying in the downtown specs when we were looking for a location - pretty sure it happens to everyone! Your day will be amazing and everything will work out as it should!! = )

LWLH said...

As long as John is there, that is all that matters. : )

I had a couple meltdowns throughout my wedding planning but to be honest all the people that couldn't come, it didn't really bother me the day of. It was nice to have the people that were closest to me there.

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