Thursday, September 27, 2012

On Being a Good Dad



I don't talk much about this subject on the blog, but thought today would be a good day since it's someone specials birthday.

My parents got divorced when I was really young (I think I was 4). My brother was a newborn. I honestly don't know much about what happened because my mom never discussed it or talked about him in a bad way. I think he just checked out... He never really was a dad to me after that. He promised me things and didn't follow through and I know he didn't pay child support like he was supposed to. I grew up always disappointed by him. And to this day, I call him Steve, not dad. 

My mom got remarried when I was in 1st or 2nd grade. I can't remember exactly. He ended up adopting me and my brother (that's where my last name Cooper comes from). Over the years, I started being disappointed by him too. Yes, we had a better relationship than my first dad and I actually called him Daddy. I was in band in middle school and high school and he never once came to any of my concerts, football games, or shows. My mom was at almost every single one. She even flew to Indiana to watch us at a competition. He was not supportive and cared more about himself than anything. When it was time for me to go to nursing school and I had to move to Houston, he told me that he wouldn't pay for me to have an apartment. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. We were standing in the kitchen and he told me I would have to live in his trailer (he deer hunted and had a trailer they used for that). So, I ended up taking out $20,000 in a private student loan to get me through school the last 2 years and I moved away. 

I'm not going to go in to all the dirty details of my family. But they ended up separating and getting divorced during my last year of nursing school. Since then there's been very little contact. He's still my sisters Dad so I try to leave my thoughts to myself because he has tried with her and they still communicate. But with me, as far as I'm concerned, he's not really my dad. He's not even invited to our wedding.

Now on to the more happy part. 

My mom got remarried a few years ago. You've heard me talk about my step dad and my mom's husband, etc. Well, that's Tim. My mom's new husband. In the last 5 years that my mom has known him, he has been more of a dad to me than either of my first 2 "dad's". He drove to Houston to help me move all of my stuff out of my ex-fiance's house, he helped with our plumbing and house problems and replaced our hot water heater. He's paying for our wedding....

The main thing is how happy he makes my mom. I feel like I have parents when they're together... not just a mom and a dad doing their own things. We're a family. He's stood by my mom and helped her follow her dream to go to Cosmetology School and truly loves her and she loves him.

That is being a good dad. 

He loves me and my sister unconditionally even though we aren't his "real" kids and I can see how happy my mom is now with him.

The topic has come up about who is going to walk me down the aisle at our wedding since I don't have a relationship with my "dads" and I haven't asked him or told him this yet, but I would love it if him and my mom together, my parents, would walk me down the aisle to start my new life with John.

Happy Birthday Tim.

John and I love you and thank you for EVERYTHING you do for us and for making my mom so happy.





11 comments:

Emily said...

awwww I love this! Happy Birthday Tim!

Emily said...
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ty said...

I loved this :) I remember reading something to the effect of, "The bes things a father can do for his children is love their mother."

Happy birthday to a good one!

Kara said...

This post is just too sweet! So happy that you have a dad that makes up for your past. Happy birthday to your dad!

Syndal said...

aw that is so sweet!
growing up, my dad wasn't "my dad" either so I know how you feel. If my biological father was alive, I prob still would not have invited him to our wedding either so I know how you feel.

Katie said...

Aww-- I'm glad you finally have a great "dad" around who is there for you. So sweet that you want them to both walk you down the aisle. Love that idea!

Meghan said...
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Meghan said...

Aww! That's great! So sweet that you want them both to walk you down the aisle!

Jess @ Blonde Meets World said...

What a sweet post. About to tear up reading it <3 Happy birthday, Tim!

Melissa Hudson said...

Such a sweet post! Happy Birthday, Tim! <3

Jessica Renee said...

This is so sweet, girly! You and your family are lucky your mama found such a good man :) I think it's an awesome idea to have both of them walk you down the aisle!

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